He would be an eagle but those pesky Christians you know how they are.

Pesky Christians
Panel 1:
Mole: I'm an eagle!
Dillon: A mole.
Panel 2:
Mole: I have wings!
Dillon: But made of cardboard.
Panel 3:
Mole: Well I would be an eagle if it weren't for those pesky...
Panel 4:
Dillon: Facts?
Mole: Christians.