Mike Johnson

Speaker of the House

Babette

Yuval Noah Harari

Travis Kelce

Guy on the Chiefs

Taylor Swift

Pop star

Taylor

Journalist at age 8

Kittypoo

Cultist cat

Chance

Humble Florida alligator

Caleb

Typical boy

Babblebot

Sent to destroy

Vickers

Sensitive teacher

Dillon

Armadillo and curmudgeon

Justin Trudeau

Justin Castro

Professor

Our gracious leader

Joe Biden

Basement dummy

Nina Jankowicz

Misinformation Czarina

Bobby Cujo

Tech bro

FBI

Alphabet agency

Steven

Epileptic

Ghostself

Gho to you

Mrs Dunbar

Boca Del Rio Assisted Living Director

Bubba

Chance's redneck cousin

Kamala Harris

Veep

Kevin McCarthy

WEF poser

Nicole Kidman

Health guru

Elon Musk

Top Twit

Gilman

Assisted living resident

Russell Brand

Convert to truth

Bob Chapek

Former Disney employee

Bill Gates

Our technology overlord

Mule

Head of voting integrity

Hunter Biden

Successful artist

Doc Science

He is the Science

Stacey Abrams

Governor of Georgia

Donald Trump

He Who Must Not Be Named

Teddy

The one who is to come