This doesn't deviate very far from the real Los Angeles fire update you can watch here. Think "one joke" is an appropriate response? First stop being one.
Los Angeles Fire Update
Panel 1:
Zanadu: Hi, my name is Zanadu and I'm here to update you on the L.A. fire situation.
Panel 2:
Zanadu: My pronouns are they/them. I'm a lean, robust, caucasian...
Panel 3:
Zanadu: ... with a purple bob and round glasses. I like to read existential poetry, and I hope to swim with the dolphins one day. Now--
Panel 4:
Agent: I'm sorry, we are out of space in this strip to continue further.
Panel 5:
Taylor: But what about the fire update?
Agent: You got the important part now move along!